Be Curious

Not Judgmental

This iconic statement – not mine, nor Walt Whitman’s – is nevertheless worth repeating, worth pondering, and even better, worth implementing into daily life as a follower of Jesus.

It seems everyone was, and might still be, talking about the Apple TV+ show, Ted Lasso. I was a little late to the party of watching this show, but once my husband Marty and I got on board, we eagerly awaited each week’s new episode and each new season. Lots of ministers have used this show to engage with their congregations. Even the most well-known United Methodist minister in the land, Adam Hamilton, asked faithful followers on September 8, 2021, to recount their favorite Ted Lasso scenes (213 responses came in the first 21 days; I imagine the comment count is still going up as I write).

Maybe you haven’t seen Ted Lasso, so let me give you a brief recap: Ted Lasso, the coach of the wobbly English Richmond soccer (ahem … football in England) team, exudes goodness and heart. In Season 1 there are hints that he is a wounded soul (he’s going through a divorce and has a young son living in the US). By Season 2 his pain is laid bare, and yet, it explains his desire to be a decent human being, affirming others.

One of my favorite scenes? Season 1, Episode 8. No spoilers here but I will forewarn you that there is some swearing (you know those Brits in pubs). No worries though, Ted is not a potty-mouth.

During this scene, Ted makes the famous quote (not from Walt Whitman), “Be curious, not judgmental.” The lesson of the darts that goes along with the quote makes it most memorable.  Here’s the clip; see what you think for yourself:

Oh, how much better our collective lives might be if we put these four words into practice (along with many others from Jesus).

We at UMF often assist in the area of generosity, which is a fruit of the Spirit. So, let’s consider how these four words, “Be curious, not judgmental,” might be helpful regarding generosity.

HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS:

Parishioner Pete: “The pastor should never know what I give.”

Judgmental Judy: “You’re wrong, the Book of Discipline says it’s OK.”

Curious Cathy: “Tell me why you think that.”

Parishioner Pete: “I hate it when “they” preach about money.”

Judgmental Judy: “Sorry, it’s the only way to get people to give.”

Curious Cathy: “Tell me about that…why does it bother you so much.”

Parishioner Pete: “It’s my money. No one should make me feel guilty about keeping it.”

Judgmental Judy: “Well, that’s a great attitude. How are we going to keep the church open?”

Curious Cathy: “Sounds like you have a strong relationship with money. I’d be interested in hearing more about what you think.”

Rather than alienating … “Be curious, not judgmental” can lead us into relationship. It can draw us closer. It can lead us to fellowship and communion if we let it. Sure, it takes time – a lot more time than throwing shade at someone. But the long-term impact is for good? That’s what heaven on earth might actually look like.

Be curious, not judgmental.

This article was submitted by Rev. Lynn Benson, Director of Legacy Giving for the United Methodist Foundation, Inc. If you would like more information regarding UMF, you can contact Lynn at [email protected].